Betrayed by Breyers

One of my favorite and earliest taste memories is of eating Breyers cherry-vanilla ice cream as a child. My dad ate the stuff by the carton, and I have always identified it as my favorite, and while I purchase ice cream from many different brands and different flavors, this is the one I come back to.
At least, I used to.
I noticed something upon my last Breyers ice cream purchase: the once half-gallon carton is now 1.5 quarts. But the price is still the same. In fact, it is actually more expensive (about 50 cents) than it was a year or so ago. I asked the manager of my local Winn Dixie about this and he said that their store doesn’t control price, that Breyers does, and that a number of people had complained about the shrinking carton.
So Breyers is selling 25% less product for the same price. It would be like paying for a full tank of gas but only filling your car ¾ of its capacity. Or purchasing a 12oz ribeye but only getting 9oz – for the 12oz price.
I feel betrayed by Breyers because their product has not only been a mainstay of my life, but also because they tout themselves as being all-natural, a sign of quality and purity. Did they think I was too dumb to notice the smaller carton? Do they believe that I will continue to buy a lesser product for a higher price?
But before you think I am getting all worked up over nothing, let me say that I feel that this act by Breyers is indicative of how all sorts of companies are treating the customers. Producers and manufacturers in this country take the consumers for granted, in terms of customer service, product quality, and price. And it goes to the service industry as well. Restaurants, bars, stadiums, retail – all areas seem to assume that the customer can be treated however they feel like treating us and we’ll come back, either because we are indifferent, lazy, or too ignorant to know the difference.
I am tired of being charged for inferior products and services. I’m tired of the price getting higher but the quality going down. Eleanor Roosevelt once said that no one has permission to treat you badly unless you give it to them. Companies like Breyers are no longer allowed to treat me with disrespect, and that’s exactly what they’ve done. I work hard for a living and in these times every dollar counts, so for them to charge more for less product is disrespectful to my intelligence, my patience, and my hard work.
Will Breyers change back to the half gallon because a disgruntled consumer in Birmingham writes a blog? No. But if I am true to my beliefs and respect myself, then Breyers – and any other company that treats me with disrespect – will no longer receive my financial support. And that’s a shame, because I’m going to miss that cherry-vanilla.

George W’s Biggest Accomplishment

As the W Regime starts to fade into the horizon on our collective rear-view mirror, I think we need to take a moment and reflect on the greatest accomplishment of our 43rd President.
Dealing with 9/11? No. Don’t get me wrong – as an assistant principal, I hate having to deal with a fight in the 8th grade hall, so I can only imagine what dealing with a terrorist attack on our country on our own soil would be like. But no. Patriot Act? Um, no. No Child Left Behind? Hell, no.

No, George W Bush’s greatest feat as President is probably one he doesn’t know he achieved.

He beat the jinx.

Like the Red Sox or Cubs? Oh, this one puts those to shame.

President W will be (should he make it to January 20, 2009) the first US President since James Monroe who was elected in a year ending in “0” who didn’t die or get shot while in office. It’s true. Let’s take a look:
· William Henry Harrison, elected in 1840, caught the flu at his own inauguration, no less, and died after being President one month.
· Abraham Lincoln, as we know, was assassinated during his second term. But he was originally elected to the country’s highest office in 1860.
· Elected in 1880, James Garfield didn’t hang around long either; he was assassinated after serving six months.
· First elected in 1900, William McKinley, like Lincoln, was assassinated during his second term, ushering in the Presidency of Teddy Roosevelt.
· Maybe our worst President, Warren G Harding was elected in 1920. He died in 1923 of an “illness”…some historians think his wife poisoned him. In any event, he continued the jinx.
· True, he was first elected in 1932, but Franklin Roosevelt did win the election of 1940 and then died in office in 1945.
· The most legendary of the jinxed Presidents is John F Kennedy, elected in 1960, killed in Dallas in 1963 by someone. I always thought it was Lee Harvey Oswald, but Oliver Stone went and confused everyone.
· Ronald Reagan, elected in 1980, broke the jinx in terms of living out his terms, but he did have a bullet enter him in 1981 from yet another deranged and disgruntled citizen. So the jinx continued.
And now George W Bush stands on the threshold of beating a 160 year curse. The most remarkable thing about it is that he has the lowest approval rating of any President ever; seems like he’d be an obvious target. But I guess that means he’s very lucky or only FoxNews viewers are crazy enough to try it, and they love him.

In any event, raise a toast to George W for paving the way for those of us who might run in 2020.

BooSox

Today, the Boston Red Sox staged a festive pre-game ceremony before their home opener. Several Boston sports greats were invited, and interestingly, so was Bill Buckner. Boston fans cheered loudly for Buckner as he threw out the first pitch, and several sports journalists (several of whom I respect immensely like the guys on PTI) hailed the Boston fans for showing appreciation for the man they spent 20 years reviling for his error in the 1986 World Series.

I, for one, found the entire ceremony disgusting.

Bill Buckner had to live in virtual hibernation because of the ferocity of Boston fans who mistakenly blame him for the 86 Series loss, forgetting that the BoSox blew the next game as well to lose the Series. There are reports of his kids having to change schools because of BoSox-inspired harrassment, and he refused most public appearances because of the horrific treatment he received at the hands of Boston fans.

But since 2004, Boston has won 2 World Series championships. So apparently Buckner is OK now, as his ovation at Fenway today supposedly proves.

We'll forget for a second my extreme dislike of the whiny, uppity Boston sports fans who, despite 2 World Series champions and 3 Super Bowl champions in the past 8 years, act like they are entitled to every championship and expect all of us to jump on their wagon, sneering at us if we do not. And let's forget about how the slurping for Boston that sports journalists like Peter Gammons and nearly every ESPN anchor makes me reach for Pepto.

My problem with this "ceremony" is that it is an example of conditional forgiveness, which is actually not forgiveness at all. Boston fans made Buckner's life a living hell for nearly 2 decades, showing their true character by turning the career of a really good ball player into the butt of a very cruel joke. But now, apparently, he's OK. However, he's only OK with the condition that the Red Sox have a WS ring.

Had the Yanks beat the Sox in the 04 playoffs, and had the Rockies shown up and beat the Sox last fall, Boston fans would still hate Buckner as they have since game 6 of the 86 Series. True forgiveness doesn't have conditions, and the two rings are conditions.

So the "applause" today was not forgiveness. It wasn't a "Sorry for ruining a 20 year chunk of your life". It was not a retraction. It was a "You're OK but only because we're winners now." Bill Buckner wasn't invited because he provided Boston with some great years and numbers (he did); he wasn't invited because he's a man a good character (he is). He was invited because Boston wants to make itself feel better about the awful and classless way they have treated the man. It was a sham, and it was sickening to me.

The real class of the afternoon was Buckner himself. By showing up, he was in fact showing forgiveness. He could have told the Red Sox organization to got to hell when they invited him - I probably would have. But he put on a Red Sox jersey. something that was probably very difficult, and went into a place full of people who have spent years cursing his very existence. That is class and courage, so much that Buckner probably has never stopped to think of what a jab his gesture was at those boorish fans because that was not his motive. I can't know his heart, but I saw his actions. And he did more than close the door on his end of this travesty; he showed up to Fenway and upstaged the BoSox hypocrites in the stands, people who would love to break their arms patting themselves on the back for their big hearts but instead just showed what shallow fans they really are.

Bill Buckner is integrity. By his actions he forgave. And if BoSox fans have any integrity themselves, they'll feel the shame of what they have done.

Think I'm out of line? Let Tom Brady fumble on the goal line losing the Patriots the Super Bowl, and you'll see the character of Boston fans shine through - he won't be able to show his face in New England for....20 or so years...or until teh Pats win another ring....then all will be "forgiven."

Tampa

I just spent the week with my daughter in Tampa, FL. We went to Busch Gardens, took in a Phillies game in Clearwater (on St. Paddy's Day....10,000+ people....quite an event), and drove to Orlando to Sea World. The week was magical from a daddy perspective, but it was also fabulous from a vacationer's standpoint. Some things to think about the next time you go to that area (and you should):

1. Busch Gardens and Sea World (both owned by Anheiser Busch) open at 9 am. get there at 8:45, and you and your kids can ride everything without a line. True, this was spring break and not summer time, but still....no lines, not at all until about noon, and by that time, both places were packed. But by then, we were almost bushed (my brain can only ride rollercoasters 12 times before exploding....we got close).

2. Don't bother going to Clearwater's beaches if it's spring break or summer, unless, of course, you like sitting in standstill traffic behind teenagers who use too much bass in their speakers and can't buy pants that fit (do I sound like an old guy?). So go instead to Dunedin and to Honeymoon Island state park. Less crowded, pretty beaches, nice facilities.

3. Take in a ball game. In that area in March, The Phils (Clearwater), Yanks (Tampa), Blue Jays (Dunedin), Rays (St pete), and Reds (Sarasota) all play within a 30 min drive of each other, with the Indians, Tigers, and Pirates an hour away. Not a bad seat, and players are very accessible for autographs, etc. But if you go on St Paddy's Day, get there an hour earlier!

I got lucky in that all of these lesson I learned the easy way by just showing up when I did and finding out I accidentally made a good call. But it helped make a great trip really special.

A Hopeful Future

I know I am biased, but I have the greatest kid ever.
(Oh great, now he's going to brag on his daughter, you are thinking).
My fourth grader's school is about to participate in Jump Rope For Heart, and the Children's Hospital in Birmingham came to make a presentation about kids who suffer from numerous conditions that make it difficult for them to lead regular kid lives. My daughter has always been very compassionate (in jan 2006, she insisted that her Girl Scout troop's cookie profits go to tsunami victims....and they did).
She has now decided that she wants to hold a concert for kids in the fall to raise money for The Children's Hospital. She described the entire venture to me in minute detail, from when to where to what kind of performers she wants. And she's not kidding. But here's the best part - she insists that when this takes off, she does not want her name on anything, no credit, no attention to herself.
I am so thankful for such a daughter, and I assume that there are more children like her, with her big heart, all over the globe. Think about a future that is led by such thinkers.
Yeah, I'm smiling, too.

Brett Favre

Brett Favre announced his retirement from the NFL today. I watch enough sports journalism shows to know that there was a pretty good chance this was coming. And while I am not a huge Packer fan, I am a Favre fan and appreciate the fact that, like Cal Ripken, he made a name for himself by playing hard EVERY game, playing to win, and playing like a teammate while all the while setting NFL records with class. Unfortunately, that is no longer the norm, so he will be missed on the field not just by Green Bay fans but by those of us who still watch sports because we believe in the myth of sports, that every player is out there fighting for us in the stands. They're not, of course, but Favre made me think that.

Here are some other things about Favre that make me admire him:

1. This year, he made all of us other 38 year old guys think we could still take hits from Strahan and get back up and play the next down.

2. He still has the same circle of buddies he's had since boyhood...and no, they don't help him with a dog fighting ring like the boyhood pals of another quarterback.

3. He came clean about 10 years ago when his addiction to pain killers (from chronic back problems) were starting to run his life. He kicked it, but he also didn't deny it like we have been accustomed to seeing with the current steriods scandals.

4. Same team for almost his entire career. In fact, very few people remember him in that awful Falcons uniform.

See you in Canton.

Guilty Pleasure of the Week

Zombie movies.

I love them. In fact, I consider myself to be quite a connoisseur, a man able to distinguish between good zombie flicks and bad ones. Of course, no PhD is required to watch anything from this sub genre of horror films, so it is a guilty pleasure. Don't believe me? The next time you and some friends are talking about the Oscars, ask why the third installment of the Resident Evil trilogy didn't get the nob for best picture.

What we have learned about zombies:

1. They are already dead. Traditional means of killing are, for the most part, futile. A zombie only dies when you re-kill the brain.

2. They have picked up speed. Watch Romero's original Night of the Living Dead, where the zombies stumble around like me on a Monday morning, then watch 28 Days Later. The zombies can book now.

3. Zombie-ism can be caused by a number of things: toxic waste, infected lab animals, a lab experiment gone bad, a collision of comets in outer space.

4. Good zombie movies can scare the crap out of you (the aforementioned Romero film does it every time); bad ones make you laugh. Unless you were in the mood to be scared, then a bad zombie movie elicits the same response as all bad movies - frustration and some hostility towards the director.

My Top 5:

5. Resident Evil

4. Dawn of the Dead (remake)

3. Shaun of the Dead

2. 28 Days Later

1. Night of the Living Dead (original)

And I plan on watching Diary of the Dead when it hits DVD, just to see if it achieves ultimate zombification. See you there.